Lucinda Violet

Born July 17, 2012
Lucinda Violet Spring
We are in heaven with our little girl.
She is in my arms right now as I type. 
Sorry I haven't checked in sooner...
(but boy do i have a story for you)
darin and i are under a spell.

i want to work on my whole birth story over the next week or so. i want to remember every detail possible. but for now i will just say this: after my water breaking at home in the wee hours, laboring 21 beautiful hours naturally, having the most amazing experience together, determined to remain peaceful as possible, we found out at that late date, in our hospital room at 12:30 a.m. the next night that our baby was  breech and that because i was in such advanced labor i would need an immediate emergency c-section. yes, i faced my worst nightmare. my friends it was harrowing for me and i am still processing the grief that such a change in plans gives my heart. but i will tell you there is nothing more amazing than the love i feel for this tiny soul in my care. i can hardly write or talk about any of this without weeping. my story is ultimately our story as a family and i am always going to come to it with the peace and grace of that love.

oh, and breastfeeding is going beautifully!

i hope you are all well out there loves, and i will be back with more photos of our tiny beloved!

Comments

lorlore said…
Love, love, love her name, a small bundle of joy!!!!! Enjoy your family!!!!!!!
dreadybetty said…
I have been a longtime reader but seldom commenter, and I've been thinking about you all week! Congratulations on your girl! Having a daughter is the best :) and what a beautiful name you've given her. Have lots of fun.

Love from Oklahoma!
Anna
Violet Folklore said…
Oh sweetie! Another little Violet girl! I am so thankful to Adie for keeping me updated. You and Suuzi need to talk. I need to come visit. And you need to remain under that spell! I love you all.
I am so grateful for this update, and for the pictures that you have shared, but sweet, sweet heather, you owe us NOTHING. i want to urge you to take your time savoring where you are.

your brief story reminds me of how wild birthing is...we make plans and have hopes, and then we step into the storm and realize we are in a creative galaxy unto itself...i don't know any women who had the birth that they "wanted" or expected. but from what you shared i know you went into this with heart and arms wide open, ready to let it just BE, and while i am so so so so so sorry that you had to face your worst fear and that it has grieved your heart, the love and openness you are already speaking about it with now tells of the depth of your spirit and also communicates that your feet are well on the path to healing and home.

i am so tickled for you. i want to just sit and gaze at your baby and hear you tell me this story from beginning to end...let it take five hours and 8 cups of tea. and all that really means is that there is a mama heart in san francisco that cares about you. from my humble place, i offer a welcome into motherhood. from my tiny family to yours...congratulations and SO. MUCH. LOVE.
Jessica said…
Congratulations! What a beautiful baby girl! I hope this new time as a family of three is magical for you!
Still Blooming said…
she is so perfect...thinking of you and sending much love to your family, xoxo
hillary said…
She is a beauty and you are both just shining with joy in these photos. Congratulations on the birth of your little one. It sounds like it was a wild ride! But in the end you made a choice in her best interest so she could have safe passage into the world. Enjoy your babymoon and nurture your mama-self as you heal and explore this new planet of motherhood!
fatmoss said…
wow, reading all the updates up to this still makes me realize what a miracle birth is. you look so very happy, and your baby looks like she is thinking ''finally i am here!'' into the world ! love the name you chose. it went on to my favourite names for people ever after reading oscar and lucida by peter carey.
welcome to the world miss lucinda violet.

love to you and your new little family from across the seas
Geny said…
Thank you for sharing those beautiful photos and words. I was so fearful of a c-section with my kids too, but I know you handled it beautifully like you do everything. You have such a perfect little girl, congratulations again! Much love to you all!
Anonymous said…
Congratulations, she looks beautiful and what a lovely name!
Nicky said…
Look at you two- spell or not, you look like naturals and so gentle and loving in these photos! Congratulations on a beautiful baby girl, and sorry it didn't go just as planned. It would have been hard for me to accept too, but I'm happy to hear that you're ok with it (how could you not be with a gorgeous baby?!!! hehe. Can't wait to see more of her sweet face! xo
ioana said…
oh, what a beautiful baby! congratulations! i've been following your blog for a couple of years, but never posted comments. i am so happy for you! lots of love all the way from romania :)
Equine Bovine said…
major hugs to you and the new little bun xo
Ilaria Ruggeri said…
I'm so happy for you! Really magical!
lightwood said…
Sweetheart she is beautiful, simply gorgeous! I la la la love the names, lucinda is so pretty & my pseudonym is violet beauregarde

About the birth... When you're ready to talk make sure you do. The same thing happened to me with arlo I was forced into an emergency c section and even worse I had to have a general anaesthetic as they tried over 4 times to place the spinal block and couldn't.. My tissues were all swollen up from the preeclampsia. I never even got to feel one contraction, nor hold my babe when he was born nor see him enter this world. When I awoke from the "operation" as I call it because it wasn't a birth... I was in recovery being dosed up on morphine, wheeled into my room and when I asked to see him I was told I couldn't because I couldn't sit up and he was in special care nursery... I didn't see him for 4 hours! All of this still breaks my heart as I type but I've had almost 6 months now to deal with the grief of my birth story and have been to therapy & birth healing, everything I have tried it because I didn't want it to get me down... I wanted to be able to fully appreciate this beautiful little life I had been given, and somehow make peace with how he made it into the world, that his spirit and my spirit will be okay from it. And it does get better with time!
Sending you lots of love across the ocean, glad to hear the breastfeeding is going splendidly, it really is the best to feed your child hey? Can't wait to hear more on little Lucinda xox

P.s. the red gingham is adorable
lena said…
Oh Heather, she is so beautiful. Many congratulations to you and your new little family. We are so lucky to be able to read your sweet stories and experience through them your peaceful lovingness! Enjoy this magic time.
steeltulip said…
Congrats! I am new to your blog but LOVE it so have actually been thinking about you wondering if you delivered! She is beaitiful like her mommy...enjoy every minute it goes too darn fast!
Amanda said…
I was just recently wondering where you were. This pregnancy seemed to go so fast that I didn't even realize that she could have already come.

I am so happy for the three of you and I look forward to your birth story. I too planned a lovely natural birth and hired the doula and all and still ended up have a c-section in the end. It was a painful loss but also a beuatiful beginning for our family.

Enjoy EVERY minute of this newness!

Cheers!
Mrs. Habit said…
she is gorgeous Heather. take your time, soak in every minute. I know everybody warns you of it but it really does go by so fast. and even though things didn't go as you had hoped, the end result (a beautiful healthy baby) is a miracle in itself.

congratulations, to you both.
xxo
J
Bridget said…
Congratulations on your beautiful little girl!!!
hooray for happy and healthy mama and baby (and new pops, too)! many many many hugs and congrats. xo
Jody said…
Yay, so incredibly happy for you! I LOVE your blog and follow it regularly. She is gorgeous. Congrats.
Annalee said…
Congratulations & many blessings to your little family!
Milla said…
oh honey, I'm so happy to be checking back on the internets for this multitude of updates and pictures of Lucy, but I agree with Mary, you owe us nothing. We are grateful for every little bit you have time to tell us. I can't wait to hear your birth story. You've been in our thoughts so ever since that call came to light you a candle. As I was lighting it, the black cat of the folks we're house sitting for rubbed against my leg, surely to me, a good omen.

You and your family are loved by so many, adored by so many. However she got here, how long and hard the journey, Lucy is all that matters now. I'm so happy for you, enjoy your bliss.

Love you all!
AlphaBetsy said…
She is beautiful, and blessed to come to the such a loving and amazing family. I'm sorry that your birth was not the way you were hoping, but at least it ended with a healthy girl. Congratulations!!
Jim J;O) said…
Precious! Absolutely precious! Blessings, Jim
Heidi Ann said…
I love her beautiful name, too - and I am so incredibly happy for all of you!
anne said…
she is amazing heather! congratulations on a healthy babe! none of our labors go the way we envision them, the only thing that matters in the end is that mama and child are safe and healthy. and you both are! can't wait to see more of your little bundle of joy!

much love,
anne
sanya said…
Like everyone is saying, I have also been thinking of you all week. Congratulations on such a beautiful child and on becoming a mother! You are loved by so many and the online community couldnt be more excited for you, including myself! Savor the moments with your new babe - no one is more deserving of such a wonderful gift. I cant wait to read about this new chapter in your life, but only when you are ready and have time to share it. Congratulations again! Lucinda Violet is such a georgeous name for a very lucky little girl :)
Heather said…
Congratulations! Wonderful name.
Heather said…
Congratulations she is beautiful and such a beautiful name for her also. So sorry to hear that things did not go as planned. Glad that you and baby are ok though. I do understand, my first son Noah was an Emergency Csection also for being breech and I had dreamed of a natural birth as well. Focus on that beautiful little girl it will help you process all that has happened. ~Love Heather
she is perfect. i love her. you done real good. i had an emergency c/s with my first son and i've been there, man. it's a lot to process, a lot of HIGH OCTANE EMOTIONS!!!!!! am i right? it's okay to feel whatever you want to feel about your birth, and it's okat to change your mind moment to moment about it as well. it's hard to lose the birth you wanted. i look forward to reading all about your birth, good parts and hard parts, and getting to know your amazing brand spanking new human being. she really is amazing.
Heather, I can only imagine how you must feel, knowing you wanted a natural birth experience. BUT shit happens and you always amaze me with the beauty that you see in everything and just look at your REAL LIFE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. You are an inspiration to me in this crazy life and I am so happy to be in your circle of sisters. And I am so happy to have a little Lucinda Violet in my circle of sisters too! xoxo
Zoe said…
Congratulations!
Missa said…
Oh Heather, she's beautiful, truly beautiful! After a full week of no internets, it is such a joy to come back to pics of your happy little family all blissful and glowing with love. These photos are SO PRECIOUS, she is amazing, just like her mama and papa :)

On Monday we made it up to Crater Lake. I wasn't getting phone service and hadn't heard word, but felt compelled to send you a little silent blessing while standing at the base of a breathtaking waterfall, Vidae Falls.

With the rushing water cascading down the rocky cliff leaving a trail of lush green life in its path, it felt quite fitting. This would have been around 4:30 pm which means you were in labor!

Late Tuesday morning while we were on the road I was able to get a phone signal and received Mary's texts. I was so glad to hear that Lucy had arrived and you were all doing well!

So much love to you all! Enjoy these new moments together :)

p.s. It turns out Vidae Falls is spring fed <3
S. said…
Ugh, she is so totally exquisite, Heather.

I have nothing to say save that I hope you and Darin are basking in these new moment (which I know you are!).

xoxo
mo said…
So happy you two are now holding your sweet little one. Oh Lucy how lucky you are to have such loving parents in your life!

So happy she is healthy and you are okay as well. When my sister had her baby she wanted it to be at home, but things changed for her at the last minute and she ended up in the hospital. Life is what happens when we are making plans... oh so true sometimes.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to my next visit to pville so I can meet Lucinda Violet. Oh that name is so beautiful...

love you Heather! You are a goddess and for sure a nurturing loving mama! Happy birthday Lucinda!

-mo
Lucy said…
Many many congratulations Heather. I'm so pleased you are all healthy and safe. Your daughter is just beautiful and she has been crowned with a truly lovely name. I'm a long-time reader of your blog and have followed your pregnancy with as much interest and joy as the rest of your beautiful stories. With much love and warm wishes from the UK x
Mama Smith said…
Congratulation- she is just beautiful!

xo Lilly
Andrea said…
I was so anxious to check in today to see if you'd posted anything yet. How lovely is little Lucinda? And what a gorgeous name Heather. I just love it. I'm looking forward to hearing more about the birth. I know that it must have been difficult when confronted with the decision--and my oh my the surgery-- but I think if anyone could handle the change in stride it would be you! I know you did wonderfully and now little Lucinda is here, beautiful and healthy. So much joy for you right now! Hugs my dear :)
Tera said…
Awwwwwwww congratulations!!!!!!! She is a doll! I also thought we'd escape the showering of pink, but nope :)

Dream birth.....I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THAT IS. I found myself crying about the c-section a month later, two months later but not anymore.

Isn't it a great gift that after that, breastfeeding is easy!!!! It eclipsed a lot!
Jenna E said…
Congrats!! Lucinda is perfect, and what a gorgeous name. We had our girl on the 12th and we couldn't be more in love. We are very much enjoying our babymoon and it looks as though you guys are to! I love your nest, looks so inviting!

I am happy breastfeeding is going so smoothly for you. It goes smoothly for us with use of a nipple shield. She isn't taking to my nipple to well, hopefully with time she won't be so lazy :p

I am happy to see you soaking up every precious moment. xoxo
Teeny said…
hehehe, she is born a day and 36 years after I was, lovely little Cancer lady that she will be. well done sweetie. xo p.s. I'm reading Anne of Green Gables at the moment and she reminds me of YOU. If wishes came true my friend I'd be with you right now.
kim said…
hi! another lurker here....don't know if it's too late to comment on this post, but i'll give it a try. just wanted to say that i had an almost identical birth experience (except that i was having a homebirth and turned out my midwife was not experienced with breech birth). there was so much intensity and feelings to integrate during a short time.....and although the joy is popping all around with a new human to love, i know it's still hard sometimes to heal your heart. i look forward to hearing your whole birth story and all that went with it. you have a very sweet baby and so much to enjoy! congratulations to you!
Very belated congrats on such a sweet little one! (Clearly I don't keep up with blogger much...) Moving on to read the rest of your story this evening. So glad that that the joys outweighed the sorrows.

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