my brother mikie came to town for a few days. when i saw him i started crying.....
i had been thinking about the past. the glorious, madcap, wild adventures of my early twenties. my little brother mikie was a senior in high school and was the star of the spring musical, Godspell. yep, he was jesus.
here's a polaroid from closing night, that's mikie in the striped pants. there are many people i love in this picture.
during that time i became close friends with some of the other godspell kids: jamie, rebecca, mary, and in turn my circle of friendship was blossoming into what it is now. we basically all fell in love with each other. i've written a little about that time when i told the story of my little yellow house.
we hung out all the time that summer. once a large group of us hiked to some natural waterslides at a place we call Quintette. it was a wonderful day but on the way back i got melancholy. i can't exactly remember why, but it had to do with having some regrets and feeling stupid about some things i'd done. getting too drunk, acting the fool, embarrassing myself, whatnot. i'd gone to a dark place earlier that year, right after the break up with a longterm boyfriend. in any case, i was walking with my brother mikie talking about this, and he sang to me a song from godspell: you are the light of the world. he sang me the whole thing but i remember this part best:
"so let your light so shine among men,
let your light so shine.
so that they might know some kindness again.
we all need help to feel fine (let's have some wine!)"
he told me that i was indeed a light in the world, and i believed him. there was so much love surrounding us, and also playfulness and youth and some sweet magic of time and the moon.
i cried thinking about this the other day. because i'm hormonal and i'm a mom now and i know more deeply that hard-earned and perfect light inside each of us.
i might add: it's mikie who is truly a light in the world. it sounds cheesy, but he really is. he has a wild heart; he's playful and lively and loud. but also he's kind and nostalgic and a worrywart. added bonus: he's super smart. and super handsome.
just say his name out loud: MIKIE. it's fun.
i also thought about the time we hiked mount timpanogos, how he stayed with me toward the top, toward dawn. how we crossed that steep field of shale and he was right there with me, telling me to focus on just one step at a time. i told that whole story here as well.
how sweet he is, how he worries for my dad when we go camping or hiking together, how he always champions the underdog, the one who needs a little help or encouragement.
when i saw him on wednesday i told him the stories and told him i appreciate him for this; for having so much energy that he freely gives it away when someone needs a boost. i hugged him and cried at breakfast and his beautiful wonderful girlfriend marisa, who understands it all and has a marvelous similarity to mikie in most ways, had tears in her eyes too. it was just one of those moments.
i am blessed beyond belief with this amazing family of mine. sometimes i pinch myself and wonder how i got so lucky with these two precious baby girls. then i remember i was always so in love with family, my heart was right there all along, and somehow this just all makes sense. it's just all growing outward and on, expanding, like light in the world.
for another mikie story, go here.