Saturday, March 10, 2012

daughter

i found it wonderfully serendipitous that we found out that we are having a girlchild on the full moon. then our friend jamie told me it was also national women's day! full on celebration of girlness, march 8.

"a woman's choice"


last night my friend elsie greeted me with, "You're having a daughter!" and it truly hit me. A daughter. My daughter. Mi hija. a little lady to raise up in this world where so much has changed for women in the span of one century. to raise a girl with power and self confidence and infinite possibility, that is my dream. to raise a girl with hope and built in resistance to the traps of culture and media that are specifically designed to attack women. 
to raise a daughter with connections to older, wiser ways of knowing. 
to bring up an earth girl, a mountain child, a songstress and mermaid.

"moon memory"

...one who dances with the moon and dives into the waters of mother earth.

"the river of life"

i was cleaning and organizing the baby's room, which up until now has been used as my "craft room" which really means a huge messy storage area for etsy clothes and my computer desk. needless to say, a lot of stuff has piled up there that needed sorting. i found this little book in a box of my things from right after high school. i remember how jane evershed's paintings made me feel vibrant and alive and ready to go anywhere in the world and make friends with people and sing together. despite their 90's vibe, i still love their colors and motion, their floating women, life on the land, dance parties and equality.

"sometimes she could be found daydreaming in a corner of her room where she could not be touched"

"truth visiting"

i also picked back up Women Who Run with the Wolves in order to finally finish the last two chapters...stalled around november, but so delightful to revisit. i am lovingly pulled back into the orbit of La Que Sabe, she who knows, the curandera of our deepest feminine selves.
the part that really struck me today was a mention of the "old night religions," with rituals for self protection and sacred thought, "drawing instruction from a faraway time."

"If we listen to dream voices, to images, to stories and to our art, to those who have gone before and to each other, something will be handed out to us, even several somethings that are ritual, personal, psychological rite, that serve to steady this stage of the process."

 i am prepared to listen; i am open to small and large ways of knowing, from-within and from-without. 
even this little book, a glimpse into my past, my becoming-woman, offered me a reminder of the dreams i've dreamt and the ways of my soul's longings.

"women reading"

the kind of woman and mother i want to be: a reader, a converser, adventurer, knowledge seeker, a sister and friend and a lover of earth and animal alike, a dancer on porches and beaches and under every wild sky. 
are there obstructions to my path of wonder? yes there are. silly things like money, time, work, ideologies...but guess what? i am willing to work clearing paths, chasing stars, flying to the moon, to make sure that my daughter may too follow these paths through the woods.

"an expert in her field"

 "african beach party"

12 comments:

theequinebovine said...

hey man, they weren't lying when they said "girls rule!"
congratulations again oxo

Teeny said...

Darling woman, you are going to teach her everything you know. Everything that is good that will help her, and a little bit of bad so that she may be wary and knowledgeable. From now until she is obstinate and an all-knowing teenager...(oh how i am afraid of those years) know that what you tell her is shaping her value system for years to come. Just today Steve and i were talking about what an environmental conscience our 7 year old has...because we talk about this stuff all the time, and make him aware of the effect we have on our earth. We know that this will carry him beyond his difficult years; and stay with him. Just like we try to teach little madam that her kindness and intelligence and determination are worthy. Thank you sweets for the link too. I loved your comment..and agree with you, one of the best things about ageing is self acceptance and the sudden knowledge about how friggin ridiculous those beauty myths are. You are wonderful. x

Heather said...

Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land amoung the stars! Having a daughter is such a special thing it is hard to describe....I also have boys and that is amazing too! For different reaons..... no worries about Teenagers I have 2 right now and its not bad at all it depends on how much time you spend with them when they are young I believe. It's true what Teeny says what you teach them when they are young they carry with them through life....yeah girl power!! -love Heather

bonfire of my vanity said...

i cried. damn you, woman. i always thought i'd have daughters. you'll be such a good girl mom.

bonfire of my vanity said...

i cried. damn you, woman. i always thought i'd have daughters. you'll be such a good girl mom.

Andrea said...

this is a moving post dear Heather :) i had never encountered this lovely book. so happy that you shared some of its magical artwork! no matter the obstructions, you are going to be a GREAT mom, because you have so much love in your heart. it's palpable (and contagious).

on a less deep note... i'm really excited to see how the nursery comes out. i was talking about this to my mom the other. if and when we expect a child, our new place is quite small, but i'm of the mindset that kids don't really "need" as much space (or things) as people believe. my mom gave me a heartfelt "damn right" on that one. she said when she had her kids all you needed was a crib, maybe a stroller when they got a bit bigger. everything else could be managed with a beach towel. she said you just throw the baby on that towel the bed or the floor for naps, crawls, diapers changes, clothing changes etc. while I'm sure that much more goes into preparing the nest for a little one, i liked my mom's cool reaction.

any thoughts about how you'll decorate your nursery, or what else you are doing to prepare? themes? this book seems like it could be the beginning of a really cool nursery theme :)

Violet Folklore said...

Oh Heather, I was crying from the first paragraph on. I can't tell you how honored I am to be the mother of a daughter. It just feels like the most sacred thing in the world.

The night of the full moon Mycelia and I walked up onto the street to look at it just before bedtime. She was cold so I picked her up and as we stood there snuggling and looking at this ancient symbol of feminine mysteries I spontaneously started singing the song Milla taught us last year. It took me minute to remember it, but it was all still there. I sang it once and she asked me to sing it again, and she joined in with me the second time. It was one of those transcendent moments, heart to heart to moon, and I was so filled with love and gratitude.

I might need to quote myself there in an upcoming post of my own...

I can't wait to share your mothering path with you.

Off to dip into Women Who Run With the Wolves again...

Violet Folklore said...

P.S. I'm with Andrea. Kids don't need their own spaces until they are quite a bit older. We never used a crib, I wouldn't dream of going against hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution by having my baby sleep alone at night. Not to mention how difficult it makes night nursing! But being able to have a space where you start to collect and organize baby clothes and toys and whatnot is a true blessing. And when they get to be three of four and start spending time alone, you will be so grateful to have a separate room!

AlphaBetsy said...

Those paintings are gorgeous. So vibrant and amazing.

So many congratulations on your daughter. I know you will be an amazing mother, and raise one amazing, strong girl.

So many blessings to you and your family.

Milla said...

What a beautiful post, Heather. I've always imagined myself with a daughter and though I know that a child is your child and will be loved so much, I do believe that there's a special, mystical connection to forming a chain of mothers and daughters. It will be so inspiring to see you mother and I feel truly honored to have you share these words and thoughts with us, a little insight into your first months with your child.
So much love to your little fam.

Celynne said...

Oh Heather, that's so wonderful, you are going to be SUCH a great mama! I was born to a woman who chose to have me only to keep a husband, and so while she did a good job of keeping me fed, clothed, clean and healthy, there was true passion and love missing. It makes me SO happy that your girl is going to receive all that love and affection and have you as a guiding light and helping hand in life, and how enthused you are about being part of that.

Missa said...

Oh Heather, this is all so meant to be. Written in the stars and illuminated by the light of a full moon <3

Pure beauty, this post is!