daughter

i found it wonderfully serendipitous that we found out that we are having a girlchild on the full moon. then our friend jamie told me it was also national women's day! full on celebration of girlness, march 8.

"a woman's choice"

last night my friend elsie greeted me with, "You're having a daughter!" and it truly hit me. A daughter. My daughter. Mi hija. a little lady to raise up in this world where so much has changed for women in the span of one century. to raise a girl with power and self confidence and infinite possibility, that is my dream. to raise a girl with hope and built in resistance to the traps of culture and media that are specifically designed to attack women. 

to raise a daughter with connections to older, wiser ways of knowing. 

to bring up an earth girl, a mountain child, a songstress and mermaid.

"moon memory"

...one who dances with the moon and dives into the waters of mother earth.

"the river of life"

i was cleaning and organizing the baby's room, which up until now has been used as my "craft room" which really means a huge messy storage area for etsy clothes and my computer desk. needless to say, a lot of stuff has piled up there that needed sorting. i found this little book in a box of my things from right after high school. i remember how jane evershed's paintings made me feel vibrant and alive and ready to go anywhere in the world and make friends with people and sing together. despite their 90's vibe, i still love their colors and motion, their floating women, life on the land, dance parties and equality.

"sometimes she could be found daydreaming in a corner of her room where she could not be touched"

"truth visiting"

i also picked back up Women Who Run with the Wolves in order to finally finish the last two chapters...stalled around november, but so delightful to revisit. i am lovingly pulled back into the orbit of La Que Sabe, she who knows, the curandera of our deepest feminine selves.

the part that really struck me today was a mention of the "old night religions," with rituals for self protection and sacred thought, "drawing instruction from a faraway time."

"If we listen to dream voices, to images, to stories and to our art, to those who have gone before and to each other, something will be handed out to us, even several somethings that are ritual, personal, psychological rite, that serve to steady this stage of the process."

 i am prepared to listen; i am open to small and large ways of knowing, from-within and from-without. 

even this little book, a glimpse into my past, my becoming-woman, offered me a reminder of the dreams i've dreamt and the ways of my soul's longings.

"women reading"

the kind of woman and mother i want to be: a reader, a converser, adventurer, knowledge seeker, a sister and friend and a lover of earth and animal alike, a dancer on porches and beaches and under every wild sky. 

are there obstructions to my path of wonder? yes there are. silly things like money, time, work, ideologies...but guess what? i am willing to work clearing paths, chasing stars, flying to the moon, to make sure that my daughter may too follow these paths through the woods.

"an expert in her field"

 "african beach party"