Wednesday, April 30, 2014

your sun is shining

lucy and i each drew tarot cards the other day for a simple spread: past, present and future.

my spread: 
past = daughter of cups (playful youthfulness, strong feelings, going with the flow) 
present = the Sun (more on that in a moment)
future: shaman of cups (focused awareness, the dark power and force of the moon, spiritual purpose)

lucy's spread: 
past = 10 of discs (her birth! also the card i used to draw when i would mentally inquire about my issues with infertility) 
present = 3 of wands (communication and self-expression, her learning to talk!)
future = the Moon (dreaming time, yield to the unconscious, bioryhythms... her future adolescence?)

i love that the Present in my reading is the Sun. This is truly my life right now: in my Motherpeace deck, "a butterfly is superimposed on the Sun. Archetypal symbol of rebirth, the butterfly is one of Nature's most delightful and marvelous creatures and is moves out of the chrysalis state and into the light. Though a process of conscious transformation and rebirth, we can each experience the miracle of the butterfly -- crawl out of our cocoons, unfurl wings, and soar into the heavens, utterly changed." 

It might seem simplistic to say that motherhood has changed me like that, but it has. It has been a rebirth for me as a woman and a human being. In short, I am opened up to a purity of time and love that I never imagined possible. At my best, I can focus on the moment and a wild exuberance springs from my heart. Even at my worst I am full of an irrepressible love and devotion. It's not like these things weren't part of my personality before; they were. It's just that mothering these two amazing girls of mine somehow makes me more myself, at least these parts of myself. I am not able to read as much, do studious research, work outside the home, or be alone very often. But I am sure able to be in the moment, to laugh, and to feel giddily in love.

my book goes on to say: "When you get the Sun in a reading, you can relax and enjoy yourself, it's going to be a good day, week, or year. You are probably experiencing a great deal of expansiveness and pleasure -- your sun is shining."

Sure enough.

swinging, hanging laundry, painting at lucy's little table, nursing my baby on the blanket outside, eating outside, dancing, reading. sharing it all with two adorable little babies who are taking so much in and expanding like the tiny universes they are. i know that this time when my babies are little will pass quickly and so i am just enjoying feeling so - ALIVE.

the poppies a couple weeks ago:

...and the poppies now!

"It may be time to dance or sing."

"You feel yourself to be part of something bigger than your own individual life, and yet your individuality is freed up as well."

The passage about the Sun card in my Motherpeace book ends like this: 
"An open heart paves the way for peace and a world connected through joy and harmony. Sun consciousness may be the first step to putting down our weapons and joining hands in a great, global circle of healing...Ask not for whom the Sun shines: it shines for us all." Kinda cheesy but I'm willing to hope. I know that a "sun consciousness" works wonders for me ;)

just now as i typed, while both my girls nap, a butterfly with striking velvety wings flitted in the open doorway of my kitchen and back out again. it is the last day of april, and the sunshine is calling.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

bunnies and eggs and chicks oh my!

i have always loved easter, with its festive springtime displays, but i never really knew what to do with it. i have always dreamt of doing a sort of "sunday service" out in nature or in our backyard, representing the ageless dramas of the gods and goddesses, the passage of time, the secrets of the seasons. a little spiritual connection made possible by a day given special resonance by our present day culture. 

and i do hope to incorporate some meaningful ceremonies as the girls get older. but for now, with these babies about, it's just colored eggs and baskets of goodies and fun. a big old spring celebration!

the big morning:

lucy is still too young to conceptualize a giant bunny coming and bringing treats, but she sure had fun looking through her basket nonetheless. and i, of course, gave into the consumerist trickery and bought the girls bathing suits on clearance at target, along with some other impractical hogwash for which i quickly felt regret.
but the best-loved easter gifts were the vintage berenstain bear figurines i got on ebay, and the barn animal set i got from etsy.

and of course, a new (used) book, which promptly required reading.

and then on with easter dresses and bonnets!

we had friends and family over for a little brunch celebration. emily is on a special diet due to her baby's colic, so i made a gluten-free, dairy-free coconut cake for the occasion. it turned out pretty dang good! i followed this recipe.

all the spring chicks were in attendance!

arlo born february 4, polly born january 5, and scout born february 7.

both my mom and addie brought gorgeous flowers from their yards. a green thumb runs in my family: why didn't i get it?!! but at least i get to appreciate their bounty!

ade and utah. he is 15 months old now, starting to talk, and such a great playmate for lucy! they adore each other.

becky and arlo. he is a sweet, mellow, BIG baby!

zack and polly did some bonding during the egg hunt.

there were three participants in the easter egg hunt:

but only one who would enthusiastically proclaim, "I'm on a mission!" as he ran for each one!

nana brought all the babies new books to read in the sun.

and the poppies were in full bloom for easter.

my pretty cupcake!

having babies around on easter really reminds you what it's all about: creation, fertility, hope, new life. the love that binds us all together, on a planet that requires our care and thoughtful respect. birthing and raising babies, we hope to be contributing to a legacy of love. 

hope you all had a beautiful day!