i love my body...
this is my new mantra. when i hear myself thinking, god i'm still so fat, what is wrong with me? why can't i lose these last ten pounds? i Stop that shit in its tracks. i crash into it and tackle it to the ground and then i repeat with glee, I LOVE MY BODY I LOVE MY BODY I LOVE MY BODY.
you know why? because you never hear women saying that. little girls never hear their mamas or aunties or best friends or grandmas saying it. and yet look at us. we walk all around town, we hike and swim, we sit cross legged on the floor, we hug each other. we do yoga, we lean over and touch our toes, we stretch our arms overhead to pick plums, we jump up and down when we get excited. we grow babies and birth them, we carry them in our arms that get stronger and stronger, we write poetry with our beautiful brains and hearts, we create wild dances to stupid hiphop songs, we laugh our asses off. we do all this in these beautiful bodies of ours and i think under all the H8....we secretly delightfully love our bodies and we're just scared to admit it. even to ourselves. so i'm saying it. i'm loving it, all of it, face and chin, breasts and legs. grey hairs, wrinkles, thunder thighs, calloused feet, jiggly arms, fleshy belly, all of it.
and i gotta admit, i'm inspired by lena dunham. have you been watching Girls? (i'm not quite caught up so no spoilers!) how she gets naked all the time and gets sexy with her big belly and little boobs, how she will wear a tight romper and not give a shit if she doesn't look like a stick in it. that she's not tiny and not perfect and not skinny and she embraces it and even flaunts it; awkwardness is queen!
and even though she's selling awkwardness in a show about lost 20-somethings, i think she's also loving being awkward. you can just tell. she accepts herself and she finds herself damn sexy.
now i'm a long shot from a brooklyn hipster but i can say without hesitation that being yourself, in whatever situation you are in, with you own likes and dislikes and body and memories and stories, embracing your own quirks, makes you feel beautiful.
i want to help my daughter grow up loving and respecting every millimeter of her sweet precious wonderful amazing body. right now she is learning to crawl, scooting herself around like a vigorous little inchworm and it is so cute it kills me. she is discovering the possibilities of her wondrous little body and it reminds you as a parent the true intricacy and strength and perfection of our human animal physicalities. it's a good reminder. it is pretty rad to be alive and to be breathing and moving in these cool, flexible, marvelous bodies of ours! and that is what matters, that with all the magic of our imaginations and spirits. not our size, shape, or how cool we look in a romper. when we feel good we look good or as audrey hepburn says "i believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls."
so how about you? will you join me in exuberantly exclaiming, for all the world and especially younger women to hear, I LOVE MY BODY?! then dash off merrily to your next big adventure.
Comments
ps. thanks to you I'm almost ready to give Girls another chance.
hear hear!!!!!
there is no remedy in condemnation...ever.
your heart and your soul are free from the nasty effects of society's concepts of beauty and worth. that nagging voice comes in and it is not your true-self, it is a ghost and a shadow; a lie. the deeper, wiser true-self comes in and envelops you with love and gratitude. you rock.
occasionally berating thoughts come to mind when i'm looking in the mirror, but i quickly recognize and excuse them, loving my health and my self. how can i love myself if i don't love my squishinesses?
lastly, i think lucy's in good hands. she'll see her momma looking and the mirror, exclaiming love and appreciation for her body and that's all she'll know. i know a few moms who obsess over size/food and say things like, "ughh, i'm soo fat!!," in front of their young daughters. so what????? we need to smash our culture's habit of fat-shaming.....self love is the revolution. we're rejecting the unhealthy, arbitrary standards and loving ourselves.
xoxo
Heather, just from reading this blog the past year or so I find you so very lovely, in word, deed and body. And I'm gladdened and inspired to see you striving to BE a wonderful example of a strong, selfloving mama for your little girl and also her cousin Utah and all the kids and adults you come into contact with. So so so important to spread the seed of We are Wonderful!
Also, the comment from your mom made me cry/grin. :D
thank you for the reminder :)
I look in the mirror and see a pancake ass, my ass is gone (I mourn it) I see skinny, shapeless, stick legs and a blotchy chest (some hormonal thing has caused that) and though my tummy is flat...it isn't pretty. I lost weight with pregnancy and breastfeeding and I am not feeling so super fantastic about that.
I miss my curves! I miss my butt the most and how it cushioned the seats for me. Right now it is too painful to sit too long. Not use to this. I loved NOT having Olive Oyle's legs, I want pretty, curvy thighs and calves. I remember my 25 year old boobs, how wonderful they were... Maybe it is my culture but I am struggling with what I see in the mirror. I want curves. But then in walks August wearing her diaper, and it's like who cares! All thoughts out the window.
Maybe I am wrong but all sorts of men in men's bodies out there not crying about what they see in the mirror and babies and children don't so, no reason for us to go there. Love your post and you are so beautiful!!!!!!! In fact, Heather, your have made me envious here and there post Lucy. You have a great body!!!! So you better love your body :) I just want to be healthy and watch August marry and hold her kids one day. Really, that is all I want now, HEALTH!!!!
So wonderful to hear this refreshing-as-lemons post from you.
xoxo