Eternal Return

the wheel keeps turning, the universe is expanding and possibilities are infinite.

time is cyclical and fall is officially here. not in our weather or clothes, for us here in these dry northern cali hills, but in our hearts.

meanwhile, and perhaps best of all ;) 

apparently outfit shots are back!

this outfit was nothing much special, but i felt almost back to normal.

i thrifted the high waisted rayon floral 90s skirt for pure comfort. the blouse i got from becky at a clothing exchange and shirts with buttons have taken on a new significance.

still most of my old clothes (especially tops) are a bit too snug and i don't have much of a waist to speak of, but i aint complaining. i have a baby that takes my breath away with her amazingness :)

speaking of which, lucy did some outfit shots too. 

this was her first time trying on shoes.

they were tiny vintage saddle shoes that my brother wore in probably 1979.

she was none too pleased, so that didn't last long.

a summer baby wears bare feet only round here.

 

in other baby news, she has learned to sit for small amounts of time in her little chair lent to us by jorden and becky, and to play with bright and cheery toys given to me by my friend kim. kimmy brought this monkey play set up when i was in the hospital having the baby. i saw it when i got home and could not possibly imagine ever having a baby big enough to enjoy it and tucked it into the closet. well guess what? my baby's in love. with mister monkey moo right there...that dashing face! that crooked smile! she's smitten.

it is a wild and colorful world for the modern baby! and i didn't even have to buy anything :)

she can hold onto things now but she hasn't quite figured out how to get that started on her own.

our days are still sweltering and dry. we sit outside for evening meals and the cats play in the long dry grass and get covered in stickers. on the night of the equinox darin built a bonfire and we sat with our friends and talked for hours and fed our babies under a fat little crescent moon that kept drawing her eyes away from the task at hand.

at seasons' change this world feels like a mythical place indeed. patterns and thoughts wither and fall while we concurrently build something new: a stack of wood, a wool coat for winter, a list of dreams, a meal, a gift, a friendship, a family.

"All truth is crooked. Time itself is a circle."

we learn by the passing of days and the beats of our hearts. we learn with skin, bone, teeth and blood.

we teach our babies our ways, to walk and communicate and learn. they are curious and free and they stay by our sides anyway.

these twin fawns and their mama have been living here for a while now. the fawns have doubled in size much like my own babe. they watch me nurse my baby in the hammock and they play games with the cats.

 

it's serious business, learning about life every day. hard work too, 

but richly rewarding :)

  it is nice to know we're all in it together, 

 and that time is mysterious and as fast as these days fly, maybe they're not really gone. maybe the particles of their existence are flying around the universe waiting for another infinitely real chance to come together again. this tiny fingernail, fluff of cleanly bathed baby hair, this kissable cheek and tiny bird song coo, maybe my baby is eternal after all. and me too, and you.

a happy and blessed autumn to all of you.

my outfit:

earrings: handmade gift from amber

top: clothing exchange

skirt: thrifted $3

sandals: clothing exchange

lucy's outfit:

sailor dress: vintage, gifted from jocelyn

socks and shoes: vintage from my family