blossoming bliss

i love wednesdays. 
i have the day off and darin has to sleep during the day because he works a graveyard shift overnight tuesday night. so i usually have a quiet morning to myself, doing whatever the hell i like.
this is what i wore yesterday for a trip to the thrift stores in folsom.

i will be sixteen weeks tomorrow! i think my little belly is really blossoming. at night it even looks much bigger than this. my regular clothes still fit though, which is nice. but really that just shows that my regular clothes are built for comfort, not style! i do think that soon i'll have to pack up my fitted-waist skirts, and probably my gunnes too.

supposedly my baby can hear my voice now, and can make facial expressions and stretch out.

i was thinking yesterday about how i love my alone time. after taking these photos i packed myself a little snack and got in my car. i had my ipod on shuffle and the best songs were coming on, from cat stevens to bon iver to nina nastasia to joanna newsom. the sun was shining; i had the windows down and i was singing along and my heart was soaring. 

i thought about how soon i won't be alone much at all. at this point, the idea thrills me. having my own little baby along with my on every adventure sounds like the best thing in the world; it will be like alone time plus. i think about how much fun we're going to have and how lucky i am to have a little sidekick that i have the honor of helping to shape as a human citizen during the time we spend together. how every single moment will become more visible, more palpable and pure, because of that new life's discovery of it and new immersion in time. 

but still, it is weird to imagine that all this time i have to myself, right now, and for the past, say...15 years...purely to myself for nonsense or whimsy, will soon whisk away into the mists of the path.
it makes me glad. my bells ring. i had it all, and now i have even more. 
i think that's why i experienced such bliss yesterday, realizing things like this.

i've been in such a good mood lately that i even allowed band practice saturday our living room. they usually practice in the stuffy little back room, but this way they get to spread out and can really hear themselves. they had a blast doing this while i was gone in utah, but when i came home to a slightly rumpled, rearranged living room i kiiindda put my foot down. not for long. i'm a pushover. i said as long as they didn't move the couch, go crazy.
and they sounded so good! i couldn't help but dance along like a big dweeb a little bit as i had my late night cottage cheese snack in the kitchen :)

to top off my series of happy days, i received a parcel of sweet magic blessings in the mail yesterday afternoon. herbal love, a baby book, flower essences, a valentine, and a gorgeous dress from the amazing, wise and wonderful mary of terralectualism....

look how cute she looks, pregnant in this perfect dress! i am incredibly honored to continue that circle of belly love.

mary included a note filled with inspiring words, kind and true, moving my heart to unknown places and new beauties that fit in so perfectly from my thoughts of earlier in the day. she writes: "i thought of you, how stillness will find itself in your heart, but soon, rarely outside of you. the way you swirl through life, in a swirling skirt, will include the rhythm of your babe. forever, i think." i love that so much, and she perfectly captured in words that ephemeral lovely thought i'd been tripping round. 

mmmmm, now i just drank a homemade fruit smoothie with blackberries, raspberries and blueberries. i hope i'm not spiking my blood sugar but dang, it was worth it.
hope you all are having bliss filled winter days!!!

oh, and guess what?
our new nephew was born down in los angeles to darin's brother dave and his wife ashley...isn't he adorable?
i had to steal this from fb, sorry the quality sucks. his name is jackson cruz and i think he looks an awful lot like his daddy. can't wait to have tiny cousins to hang out together!

my outfit:
hat, just thrifted  this week $1.00
vintage purple tee shirt, thrifted $2.50
turquoise sweater: thrifted during recent utah trip, $2.00 (do you like the many missing buttons?)
pink floral skirt, handmade: free, clothing exchange
gray floral leggings: thrifted $2.50
brown boots: thrifted a long time ago
triangle necklace: christmas gift from mom
moonstone earrings: made and gifted by em two years ago


Missa said…
Oh Heather, your bliss is palpable! I remember having lots of those moments of alone time bliss when I was pregnant too. Savoring the calm while excitedly anticipating all the change ahead. I wonder if this is an ingrained way of preparing for all the ways that your life will soon be different, AND OFTEN SHOCKINGLY SO. Yes, enjoy the peacefulness while it lasts, haha!

Wow, Mary's package is amazing. So thoughtful, what a special gal she is :)

Hey, by the way, do you already own Ina May Gaskin's book Spiritual Midwifery? I picked up a wonderful copy from the 70's at the thrift store the other day for 50 cents and would love to send it your way if you don't have it. It's full of amazing birth stories and wonderful photos. Besides I've already got the makings of a package squirreled away with your name on it :)
Missa, thank you so much and yes indeed, i have Spiritual Midwifery and in fact went through a phase in my early twenties in which I collected the various editions. I am down to two editions, the oldest and the newest, others i've lent out. I absolutely LOVE ina may and the Farm, and those photos explain why I can't cut my hair while being pregnant even though a part of me really wants to. i can't believe you found it for 50 cents! it is kinda hard to come by these days, we never even have it in the Bookery!
Andrea said…
heather your happiness is infectious!!!! i've always found your space here to be a welcoming, accepting and all around cheerful one... but all this baby glow is only heightening your already adorable you :) I'm so so so happy for you and the wee little one to come.

PS: I love the band! they are great!
Teeny said…
I think one of the best things about being an older mum (not old, just you know...older than early 20s) is that you are as ready as you can be. You've had alone time, you've had busy times...and now you're ready to welcome a baby into that place. It's exciting and a little scary. You will be wonderful. And what a sweet package from Mary. Sheesh, gotta get mine together for you too! by golly, i'm going to get to pat that belly! can't wait. xx
anne said…
oh heather, you are indeed blossoming! you look radiant!

teeny is SO right! i often think about what a different mother i would be/would have been had i had my first when i was older. i was 20 when i had max and although i had 5 wild years under my belt, i never got to be free as an adult. ruben and i have never even really been together without kids. we crave alone time together. so, you are lucky to have had these years to yourself and with darin. you will be a better mama because of it :D

mary's package is so sweet!

lots o' love!
Anonymous said…
What a mama. I wish that this singing, sweet happiness continues to fill your days, Heather. That's one lucky little sprout you're a-growin'.

Nicky said…
I love these shots! (and adorable skirt). I love that you are soaking up all this goodness and are excited for it and excited that even though you loose a bit of freedom, you gain companionship. Shopping for clothes to fit around a belly is so fun- I seriously loved being pregnant, holding onto that lil' bump and talking out loud to the lil one like she was there with me!!!!
Your gift package is super sweet from Mary! How thoughtful and fun.
I would recommend a book for you called "so that's what they're for" regarding the breasts :D hehe. I was so dead set on breastfeeding and had my mind set- no matter how hard it might be. I was successful with both girls :D But I was 20 when I read it and 11 years later I don't know if it was a super duper book or not, but I was way excited to read all the good benefits I could provide my wee one.
Crystal said…
Is "Spiritual Midwifery" reading differently to you now?
Nichole said…
your smile and words bring brightness to my days! thank you so much for posting and sharing!
i love the things you are feeling, and learning, and thinking about... these bird-chirpy green grassy january days are making me feel magic. you look so beautiful!
Anonymous said…
this post is full of so much's the third time i've read it, and it makes me smile just as much each time.

i remember when i hit the 2nd trimester, and i was so excited to take belly shots...but it never looked as big in the photo, so i would position myself at a good angle and let it hang out more. still it was like, "is that all?!". :)
i highly recommend getting a belly will make the wardrobe transition so much easier.

and i'm so enchanted by the way my letter synched up with your process. i had that feeling as i stood in the kitchen thinking about you...a feeling of stretchiing down and into inner/outer space...tapping into something not me. i just send you so much love love love.

Milla said…
Alone time, is the best when it's time punctuated by togetherness, family and friends, both of which you have in abundance. Man, if I'm halfway as radiant as you ifandwhen I'm preggo, I'll count my lucky stars...

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