this little face looking up at me....

is the most precious thing i could ever have imagined.

i always knew logically what a big deal it is to have a kid. obviously nothing to be taken lightly, obviously life changing, and so forth. but until i actually birthed and began to raise my own daughter, i had no idea the true magnitude of that responsibility.

being a parent is a much bigger deal than i ever could have dreamt. i can't even believe how nonchalant people act about it.(i mean, yeah, people are doing it every day all over the world did it change me forever? yes. am i still the same person too? well yes. i am beyond what i was because of the way i share my life. 

me and this crazy wonderful person i call my husband make decisions every moment about this new life that we created.

 this simple fact is actually mind blowingly huge. if anyone asked me, so shouldn't everyone have kids? i'd say no! only people who are committed heart and soul to the idea should have kids. it is not for the faint of heart and it is unwavering and it is everything.

you walk through your town on a chilly eve, your baby on your chest. she falls asleep and you are noticing everything and it is her world too now, and you notice for both of you. you are careful with your steps, with your very breaths. you and your most personal choices matter in a whole new way. "things are different," as tera so beautifully explains.


the very town you live in has changed. you want it to be a beautiful place. you want it to be safe. you want it to embrace your family and you want your neighbors to be kind. in this way she is not just your responsibility alone, but the community's and even the earth's. just as the earth is hers. 
it dawned on me that for one thing, the future of our planet depends on today's parents. not just what we teach our children but how we teach them, where we go, and how we love, and whether or not we are happy.

oh you hold her so close, so close that you cannot tell your heartbeat from hers. so close that when she holds your hand you can't tell whose skin is whose. but she's growing and learning all the time and it is a slow bittersweet growing away from mama. from one, i became two, now we are each one.
she learns to be herself; she learns from me.

just like becoming a parent, merriment at christmastime is an act of faith.  stringing up christmas lights means you see light in a dark world, you wish to cheer up your streets in the coldest times of the year. you wish to bring a little warmth into the hearts of even your grinchiest neighbors. 

you trust the world to celebrate with you, and you watch your child watch the world with wonder.

creating a new life, becoming parents, is a most sacred and magical act. it is the rejection of fear, and it holds within it the responsibility of showing your child the sacred, the magical, of our world. "Nothing brings stamina for life and daily well being to our children more directly and strongly than surrounding them and immersing them into an atmosphere of goodness and joy." (thanks mary for that article.) 
my responsibility as a parent is to love a child so much that she will know how to love others.
to show her how people live with kindness in their hearts and actions, and how the world is a good place.

for a wonderful post on keeping children safe go here.

i send you all warmth and love, and wish you all the coziest solstice celebrations this week.


Heather said…
Beautiful post Heather and I loved what you said so true you love a child so much so that they will know how to love others!! ~Merry Christmas Love Heather
anne said…
really nice post! too bad all parents don't feel like you, the world be a much better place if they did!

i hope you and your family have a wonderful christmas and solstice! may 2013 bring you even more joy than 2012 :D

ps-glad you got the ninja nursing down ;D and your mall outfit is adorable!
dolly anna said…
everyday of my life i think about this...

thank you for articulating it so sweetly.

true love, baby.
hard work, baby.

some sort of grown up, yeah.
shannon said…
Oh Heather, she is just a doll baby. NOTHING compares to those little eyes looking up at you....and quite honestly, even when my 10 year old son looks at me I get that little twinge, that all consuming love feeling :) Its the greatest blessing every created. We are SO lucky to be Mothers. Merry Christmas to you and your family!!!!
Teeny said…
You put it so beautifully, the protectiveness, life-threatening protectiveness we get from growing and nurturing these babes. Oh Heather, how do I tell my son that Santa isn't really real? he still believes, but only because he believes his parents aren't dirty liars! (which we are in the name of Santa Claus). this is a lovely post, and you are going to raise a beautiful inside and out girl. xo
Violet Folklore said…
I love this Heather. It's so hard to put into words what parenting is like; how different and how much more it is than what you think before you do it. It must be interesting for you right now, being adjusted to it and then watching your sister on the precipice of it. She's so lucky to have you as a guide. We are all lucky to be able to read your words of wisdom and heart shares. XOXO.
Tera said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tera said…
Such a heartfelt post. You put it so well. It is exactly like that. HUGS to you and Lucy! xo Thanks for the mention too :)

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