more life with a newborn

and you thought i was obsessive when i was pregnant! 
baby fever has totally taken over round these parts. it's crazy how someone so tiny has so much power over me, darin, the household. i want to write it all down, every moment, it's in my blood... it helps me remember and capture the time that is so fleeting. my mom taught me to do this when i was six years old: i want to remember always, i said, and she said, go home and write it down. later you can revisit and relive it and feel it deeply all over again. my blog is a journal for me, a record of the moments of my life that matter.
and right now it feels like every moment is of great import. the beginning of life, the growing of a tiny newborn who changes every day!

first walk in the pram, at dusk on the bike trail last week.

daddy took a run then came back to meet us and picked some late summer blackberries and flowers.

it is a quiet time in our lives, when everything seems so alive and so miraculous. 
i take deep breaths and feel everything changing, 
sometimes i feel time too much, like green weeds, summer, rain, snake, moth, bumble bee.

she loved her walk.

other firsts: an outing to folsom that included a big thrift store, nursing in a parking lot, shopping at Trader Joe's and eating out at Dos Coyotes. she was so good!

lots of love and visits and friendship abound every day. 
her uncle joey loves her so much.

 a sweet afternoon visit from sara. she is a doula and we shared stories and wonder at the amazing process of childbirth.

and lucy gets visitors of another kind too! (i swear the girl invites nature magic...) this was the first time we've ever seen a skunk in our yard, this old guy had the most ratty tail and grizzled hunchy old-timer with earth and mud and forest secrets in his bones.

seeing what she can see, taking it all in, feeling it in her skin and fingers and lips.

making eye contact, she knows mama!

daddy introducing her to her first toy, a handmade rattle nana got her at a craft fair waaaay back when she was first conceived.

three weeks old! she is alert more and more every day.

she got her first bath, not so sure about it really....

but soooooo content afterwards!

after bathtime...calm, cooing, inquisitive.

a visit from papa,

and joey's home from work...she is reaching out to touch faces now!

happy baby!

me and my lulu. for a couple days now she has been eating almost constantly. no exaggeration. in the evening my boobs turn into empty sacks and i just let her keep sucking, knowing it will encourage more milk flow. and more comes! by midnight they are flowing milk down my chest. her hourly routine: she eats, poops, gets a diaper change (which she loves), hangs out awake for a little bit, falls asleep, then eats again. sometimes she doesn't fall asleep for hours and hours. these are very busy times and i can see her developing right in front of my eyes. legs kicking, eyes seeing, head lifting, hands is all happening for her and she is making the transition from womb life, interior, to earth life, exterior. the soft liminal veils are lifting and i just want it all to be as comforting and joyful as possible for her.


i am simply adoring being witness (from afar) to you both blossoming
oh, isn;t she just the sweetest little girl. she is so beautiful. those first days are so wonderful. i remember those growth spurt days where they just want to nurse all day. my first did a 5 hour marathon nurse/nap in his second week. it was crazy! you look so beautiful in that dress. glad you are enjoying your new life as a mama.
lightwood said…
Wow heather she looks sooo much like you in that last photo with the handmade rattle! Thanks for the updates on mama life, it still looks warm over there I can't wait til we hit the spring summer months here so this little water baby can swim and I can strip him down... Although I'm sure I'll be wishing for winter again once it's sticky and uncomfortable. Breastfeeding is such an honor I'm so glad you enjoy that empty sack feeling as much as I do.. We just went thru Arlo's first cough/flu thing a few weeks ago and it was all I could do to soothe him, just lay back and let him drain my boobies dry! For 5 days I think it lasted, pretty much on there 24/7... All better now and with no need for antibiotics... The milk doctor is best!

Lucinda is the most precious little cherub and your pram is adorable! Did you thrift it or was it hand me down? Xx
Heidi Ann said…
Heather - "lightwood " and I apparently had the exact same thought - as I came here to comment, knowing what I wanted to say, I first read the comments already written, and what I wanted to tell you was this: in the photo directly beneath "three weeks old", as I scrolled down reading your post and drinking in the photos, I came upon that particular one and looked at her sweet face and just completely saw YOU in her - and I was so struck by the resemblance, that I felt compelled to write. And you're both beautiful.
AdieSpringB said…
Oh hun bun I am DYING over these here fotes. I am SO GRATEFUL that you inspired me to give the pregs thing a Go again so that I too may be experiencing these new life joys come January! I am so excited! For you, Lucinda, Darin, me, Art, and my tiny tiny one to come!

I will visit this week, I can't believe how fast she's shifting into a baby baby and not a newborn baby!
Missa said…
Everyone tells you how all focus turns to baby in these early days, but it's still a bit of a shocker how actually ALL ENCOMPASSING the reality of it is, eh? It's so beautiful the way you and Darin are embracing and savoring it all! Enjoying these sweet windows into your world of baby bliss mama :)

Also yes, the look in her eyes in that one pic is so YOU! Love the eye contact one too.
Andrea said…
I agree with Missa-- she looks so much like you :) Other than enchantment-- how is Mama holding up? I just met with a friend recently who had her first child and said the exhaustion is overwhelming for her. I am not getting that vibe from you at all Heather :) You're making this look way to easy! Dangerously-- easy :) Ha ha!
Milla said…
I'm with Andrea. You make it look easy. But honestly, most new moms do. There is such an aura of bliss. It becomes you, little Madonna ;)
Anonymous said…
You and the baby are looking adorable and healthy, Heather. Everyone is happy as can be for you & family. I know exactly where you're at on the rail-trail. I'm there often. Would have been fun to meet y'all. (I always have a purple face and hands from blackberries this time of year. Sticky me. lol)

All My Best, Jim J;0)
Anonymous said…
By the way, the fairgrounds are a wonderful place to stroll. Trees, grass, quiet. They keep the gates open (potties too) until dark.

Enjoy. :o)
Teeny said…
You are such a good little mama.Time and time again I hear mothers complain about how babys won't fit into the mama's schedules - and it breaks my heart - when the baby comes, we should be fitting into what they need, well that's my opinion. The sweetest memories i have of my time with my babes are what i call the cocoon times - where the worldly distractions became obsolete while i attended to just living with baby. You said it perfectly "it is a quiet time in our lives, when everything seems so alive and so miraculous.
i take deep breaths and feel everything changing" xoxo
Kimberly said…
Lucy is so beautiful Heath. You are doing such a graet job as a momma. I knew you would be a natural :)
Anonymous said…
She looks just like you!! ADORABLE!
I want one now :)

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