more life with a newborn
and you thought i was obsessive when i was pregnant!
baby fever has totally taken over round these parts. it's crazy how someone so tiny has so much power over me, darin, the household. i want to write it all down, every moment, it's in my blood... it helps me remember and capture the time that is so fleeting. my mom taught me to do this when i was six years old: i want to remember always, i said, and she said, go home and write it down. later you can revisit and relive it and feel it deeply all over again. my blog is a journal for me, a record of the moments of my life that matter.
and right now it feels like every moment is of great import. the beginning of life, the growing of a tiny newborn who changes every day!
first walk in the pram, at dusk on the bike trail last week.
daddy took a run then came back to meet us and picked some late summer blackberries and flowers.
it is a quiet time in our lives, when everything seems so alive and so miraculous.
i take deep breaths and feel everything changing,
sometimes i feel time too much, like green weeds, summer, rain, snake, moth, bumble bee.
she loved her walk.
other firsts: an outing to folsom that included a big thrift store, nursing in a parking lot, shopping at Trader Joe's and eating out at Dos Coyotes. she was so good!
lots of love and visits and friendship abound every day.
her uncle joey loves her so much.
a sweet afternoon visit from sara. she is a doula and we shared stories and wonder at the amazing process of childbirth.
and lucy gets visitors of another kind too! (i swear the girl invites nature magic...) this was the first time we've ever seen a skunk in our yard, this old guy had the most ratty tail and grizzled hunchy walk...an old-timer with earth and mud and forest secrets in his bones.
seeing what she can see, taking it all in, feeling it in her skin and fingers and lips.
making eye contact, she knows mama!
daddy introducing her to her first toy, a handmade rattle nana got her at a craft fair waaaay back when she was first conceived.
three weeks old! she is alert more and more every day.
she got her first bath, not so sure about it really....
but soooooo content afterwards!
after bathtime...calm, cooing, inquisitive.
a visit from papa,
and joey's home from work...she is reaching out to touch faces now!
me and my lulu. for a couple days now she has been eating almost constantly. no exaggeration. in the evening my boobs turn into empty sacks and i just let her keep sucking, knowing it will encourage more milk flow. and more comes! by midnight they are flowing milk down my chest. her hourly routine: she eats, poops, gets a diaper change (which she loves), hangs out awake for a little bit, falls asleep, then eats again. sometimes she doesn't fall asleep for hours and hours. these are very busy times and i can see her developing right in front of my eyes. legs kicking, eyes seeing, head lifting, hands touching...it is all happening for her and she is making the transition from womb life, interior, to earth life, exterior. the soft liminal veils are lifting and i just want it all to be as comforting and joyful as possible for her.