it is nearing the end of august; i can't believe it. every day there is fun stuff happening compounding upon more fun stuff happening; so much so that time rushes by even more quickly than i ever imagined it could. the world feels big around me. and i am small and i can't keep up tho i thrust forth my spirit with love for it all.
since i got back from utah (with a busted-up heart confused and nostalgic and lost in love with the desert and hungry for more travels) there have been:
camping at silver lake,
waterslides and hidden pools and
stargazing in the deep quiet mountains,
moving celebration and jorden and beck's big fitty-cent vintage clothes sale (!)
massive dance party (wiped me out)
conversation upon conversation,
through all that, our friend ida, the amazing performer, artist and teacher extraordinaire, has been visiting from norway (staying with us since our roommate jamie is her boyfriend) so all around there is inspiring talk of theater, art, motion, emotion, creativity, youth, rebellion, beauty, all the time.
and also, my sweet girl ryann left to go back to school in walla walla, and it never seems that we have enough time for all the dancing and rivering and vintage-loving and adventuring that we want to do! i missed her immediately. she's just that kind of friend.
people going back to school. long talks with my sister, missing the red rocks. and also through all this august goodness, my heart has been oddly heavy. it feels like the full moon, or your belly right before you start your period...empty and full at once, strange and laden and voluminous. like being underwater, or under a huge vast starlit sky in a canyon. it comes from a knowing, some secret awareness of grace and sentience, the "unbearable lightness of being" or maybe just plain old melancholy. except really it is the bittersweet and sublime feeling of life itself, of living it and being in it and knowing all the while that all is ephemeral and loving with all your heart anyway.
i want to learn every day to observe, protect, and cherish this beautiful earth we live upon. i want to learn from prairie dogs, hummingbirds, cliffs and wildflowers how to know and participate in our wild world. if by chance you've been thinking about that kind of thing a lot lately too, please read mary's enlightening post about the Tar Sands pipeline and how we can oppose this destruction. because the feeling in my heart lately reminds me how we human beings need community, respect for our planet, and deep sensible love and thoughtful decisions.
i just keep thinking about Terry Tempest Williams' questions:
"Is economics the only standard by which we measure society's values? Or is it possible to adopt another ethical structure that extends our notion of community to include compassion toward other species?
How do we wish to live and with whom?"