what kind of world do we want to create?

it is nearing the end of august; i can't believe it. every day there is fun stuff happening compounding upon more fun stuff happening; so much so that time rushes by even more quickly than i ever imagined it could. the world feels big around me. and i am small and i can't keep up tho i thrust forth my spirit with love for it all.

since i got back from utah (with a busted-up heart confused and nostalgic and lost in love with the desert and hungry for more travels) there have been:

bookstore days,
camping at silver lake,

waterslides and hidden pools and

stargazing in the deep quiet mountains,
photo shoots,
trivia night,
moving celebration and jorden and beck's big fitty-cent vintage clothes sale (!)
massive dance party (wiped me out)

conversation upon conversation,
park romps,
play practice,
wine tasting,

through all that, our friend ida, the amazing performer, artist and teacher extraordinaire, has been visiting from norway (staying with us since our roommate jamie is her boyfriend) so all around there is inspiring talk of theater, art, motion, emotion, creativity, youth, rebellion, beauty, all the time.


and also, my sweet girl ryann left to go back to school in walla walla, and it never seems that we have enough time for all the dancing and rivering and vintage-loving and adventuring that we want to do! i missed her immediately. she's just that kind of friend.

people going back to school. long talks with my sister, missing the red rocks. and also through all this august goodness, my heart has been oddly heavy. it feels like the full moon, or your belly right before you start your period...empty and full at once, strange and laden and voluminous. like being underwater, or under a huge vast starlit sky in a canyon. it comes from a knowing, some secret awareness of grace and sentience, the "unbearable lightness of being" or maybe just plain old melancholy. except really it is the bittersweet and sublime feeling of life itself, of living it and being in it and knowing all the while that all is ephemeral and loving with all your heart anyway.

i want to learn every day to observe, protect, and cherish this beautiful earth we live upon. i want to learn from prairie dogs, hummingbirds, cliffs and wildflowers how to know and participate in our wild world. if by chance you've been thinking about that kind of thing a lot lately too, please read mary's enlightening post about the Tar Sands pipeline and how we can oppose this destruction. because the feeling in my heart lately reminds me how we human beings need community, respect for our planet, and deep sensible love and thoughtful decisions. 

i just keep thinking about Terry Tempest Williams' questions:

"Is economics the only standard by which we measure society's values? Or is it possible to adopt another ethical structure that extends our notion of community to include compassion toward other species?

How do we wish to live and with whom?"

 good night and sweet love from a dreamy little corner of the earth tonight.


Teeny said…
Ah, I'm sure I've said before i could read your prose till the cows come home. You reminded me that I need to spend more time living and enjoying my wonderful life, not to concentrate so much on all of the little things that I have to do in order to reach the end of my day. Sometimes I worry too much! I'm glad your life is full girl. And I'm totally saddened by the Tar Sands proprosition. That is F*d that such a thing can happen despite what the world KNOWS about the state of the planet, grrrrr!
British Faery said…
I really enjoyed your post, thankyou for posting it! I think about life this way often too. I think there is much to be learned from things and creatures we have long forgotten how to communicate with. <3
Amy Beatty said…
That water looked to amazing. I have such a special place in my heart for Ida and Jamie. I'm so happy that they are finally getting some time together. Jamie is just glowing in that camping picture. Your little new brown dress is a dream on you. I love it. Im so glad you love Ttw. She has a way of spliting open up my mind and heart, stretches way past what I thought I could hold. When we had our night with the mayor I just wanted to quote her the whole time but Matt said it probably wouldn't work. But I love the way she thinks and so when I had to introduce myself to the mayor I couldn't help but say - I'm here (at this meeting) for the future not just for our kids, but for the wind, birds, trees those who have no voice! Matt was right. The mayor didn't seem to like it and I was not invited to the next save our neighborhood meeting. Miss you xo
i got no sleep last night and right now i am so jealous of you and your conversations. all i talk about is poop.
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Milla said…
Oh dear sweet friend, my darling Heather, the kind of world that we can all build together. It's so wondrous to come to back to this vast strange internet, filled with so much wonder and beauty and knowledge. I feel like there's so much understanding rushing towards us all, sometimes painful, sometimes hard, but always enlightening.
I too have been reading Williams, a gift from Sara. What a coincidence. Not ;)

Yours as ever in synchronicity ,
Celynne said…
As a Canadian, and a future Albertan, I hate hearing about the tar sands and everything wrapped around it. I wish people could understand that our world is not all profit and money. What good is gold if the earth is barren? Especially when it's my home land that has to physically pay the price.

I'm amazed August is over as well, but it looks like you've filled it with wonder and amazement o far.
Mikie said…

Funny how well I understand what you're saying - my journeys this summer have shown me the incredulity of what wonderful earth we live in and around, but for some reason I often wake up or go to sleep with a sadness or anxiety - like it's all too fragile and I'm about to shatter it. I don't know. I love everything too much sometimes, I greedily can't get enough sunshine or gushing waters. I want to eat all the vegetables of the world and sing and scream and dance all day and night, and sometimes it makes my heart sad. Which, to this day, I don't understand. You put it well, the weight of a sky full of stars beating heavy on your shoulders - I feel that in different ways.
I imagine there's a good reason, and we're in the middle of it all.
Good morning :)
mooncowboy said…
I know and love and share these sentiments. naturally. we all just need to commune together more often. like Mikie, like EVERYONE (around here at least), I feel this way and sense it too. spent last night under the darkest starred sky I've ever seen, swam today with strangers in a secret swimming hole, and trekked an ancient Anasazi village and felt the infiniteness of it all! more and more, always, community and activism and explorations and love, there's plenty room for it all, let's keep keeping it that way.
Missa said…
Always a great pleasure to share in the endless stream of beautiful moments that make up your life dear heart. I've been feeling a bit of the melancholic beauty of it all lately too, as if it's somehow pervading the very atmosphere...
Anonymous said…
i have been thinking about this post since last week, and am only commenting now. that melancholy heart...and as missa says, the way the very air seems saturated with it...i have felt it too. indeed, i do think something is "up" in our collective consciousness/unconscious. when i am feeling hopeful, i think maybe humanity has run out of places to run and hide, and perhaps soon there will be a turning to face the reality...turning to face each other, the other species we live with, this beautiful earth. when i am not feeling hopeful....well...let's not go there right now! most of all, thank you for this post, and i am always so heartened to read about your experience...you remind me of the magic and beauty in life, and also that i am not alone with my full moon heavy heart. xoxox
Andrea said…
*le sigh* it's been a dreamy summer hasn't it? Thanks for all your wonderful sharing. I loved the post about your family travels. You're quite a pack, loved it!
Elisheva said…
Yes, what an adventure you have lived through August, You are so full of interest and wonder. I am so gad you have such wonderfull folks to share your gifts with. Thank you for your good questions and thoughtfulness and your poetic flowxx

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