Moonshine Junkyard

Body image. A woman's post partum body. My post partum body. Fashion, clothing, fit. Aging. The gaze. The media. Beauty. Identity. These related topics have been on my mind lately, as I near Polly's six-month birthday and my body stubbornly clings to those ten or fifteen extra pounds that two pregnancies in quick succession so readily brought me. As my breasts are much larger than ever before, impossible to hide especially paired with the need for easy access to my growing babe. As I wonder if I'll ever wear shorts again. As I recently learned that there is a thigh gap craze, a fetish I won't even grace with googling, because I don't want to give it one iota of power. And as Lucy just had her first week of swimming lessons - "tadpoles"- and I had to go in with her each day, alongside other moms, dads, and grandmas, in the midst of about ten other classes for youth of various ages, and a whole crowd of spectators. I wore a different "momsuit...

It's always good healthy medicine to gather with your best girlfriends for a campout, even if it's not exactly real camping. My lady friends rented a tent cabin down at Coloma Resort right along the river, for a spontaneous girls' weekend. We had stayed there once before for our own little private mellow girls' camp for  CarolAnn's bachelorette party , which was in May, which is pre-season.....different story this time around. The place was hopping, an organized village by the river, bursting at the seams;  bustling with families, RVs, barbecues, face painting, music. We were kind of taken aback, but had lots of fun anyway. We've been friends forever it seems, and it all keeps changing and growing. Marriages, break-ups, travels, romances, babies, moves...we will never leave each other behind. There are stories to tell for hours.  Clockwise from the left, that's Suzanne, Rebecca, CarolAnn, me, Polly, Doniella, and Addie.  The sad truth is, with...

we spent the month of may mostly in our backyard. i remember last may , i was newly pregnant and although it was a delight watching my little 9-month-old lucy (how was that just one year ago ?!!) discover water, grass, picnics, and dandelions, everything was tinged by that around-the-edges sickness that colors my first-trimester world. even on mother's day! i have the most distinct feeling of queasiness mixed in with my happiness from that day. this year, i felt like a million bucks. my loves. it was the first time lucy took one look at what i was wearing (yolo! yolo!) and wanted to match; we had to find her a yellow dress to wear too. i asked darin if i should put polly in her yellow dress as well, and he said that's just going too far ;) before we left on our trip , we had been watching a nest of baby bluejays in our plum tree. The three little babies became fledglings the day before we left. (Lucy and I watched one of them make his first explora...