a Rainy November

We've had so much rain over here by now it is truly cause for celebration. 
Tonight we were out with friends for a birthday dinner. It seemed there would be a break in the storm but when we came out Polly tilted her bare head right up to the dark skies and felt the little drops of rain starting again. Raindrops glanced off her head and the tips of her ears, she greeted them with surprise. I could feel her curiosity and excitement through her own little body into mine. The rain is not very cold but the night is so dark, the clouds are moody, the fullish moon is lurking back there somewhere making everything even more dreamy.

blanket sleepers and extra quilts. 

bundling up for outdoor adventures.

i love my daughters' profiles so much it hurts. chubby rosy cheeks eternally kissable. i have joined the legions of mothers in the world who are content to kiss babies all day, sighing at their sweet beauty, laughing at their antics, unable to ever really share successfully the small stories of our days, even to their own father. as strange as it sounds, the real truth of being a mother is a very private affair. no one else ever knows the details, what it is like when you nurse them to sleep for nap, or hold your little one to your side as you read a story, learning together. what it's like when they make their first jokes, when they take delight in your laughter, repeating themselves, with a sparkle of glee in their eyes. when they get excited over the cutest simplest things like a christmas noisemaker that would annoy any adult. How they surprise you with new words, quirky ways of saying things, funny requests, coming from the secret growing seeds of their ever personalities. the way the bend of their dancing knees, the fluff of their rounded rumps, the twist of their snowflake hands, makes you burst with pride, as if their every movement is an act of perfect deliberation, poise and purpose. She dances! She rocks back and forth in a squat position, look at that core strength! She looks up at me to see if I'm happy too, if I'm dancing too. Oh my love, I am dancing with you.

gold rush explorers.

the layers and colors of november. 
cotton, velvet, knit, 
cranberry, midnight, cream.

ventures into the attic.

the obvious reason for this graham cracker: streaming tears. probably because she couldn't climb all the way up there by herself.

Noni (Darin's mom) joined us on our Christmas tree sojourn.

can you just smell it?! and candy canes round the bonfire, wreaths of fresh wet pine boughs, the river rushing, a place where native people gathered to fish and grind acorns, there are stories all through this land and it feels good to walk here.

Stunned attention as the woodcutter fells our tree.


home to deck the halls. to set the scene that returns every december, that reminds me now of last year, lucy napping on the couch to songs of the Time Life treasury of Christmas and the twinkling of the christmas tree lights, how I could tell how much peace and comfort this brought her little soul already. There's a reason we decorate year after year, bringing out the same trinkets. There's a reason I still have the popcorn I strung in 2006, but that's probably not the same reason Lucy ate about a foot's worth this year. yum.

so that in the middle of these longest nights, there will be light.


Unknown said…
The little snippets of motherhood and the idea that it is so incredibly private spoke directly to my mama heart. Sometimes I think that words or pictures will somehow capture it, but they never do. And the damn memories are so fleeting, which baby was it who awoke from his/ her sleep laughing, making slithering snake sound before they had language? And what was Gus's first word so many years ago? Where were we when Sena lost her first tooth?

Your blog was open on the computer and Tom wandered over to it and started watching your videos, intrigued with the title "wizard King." After navigating around your space for a while, he declared that he understood why reading other people's blog was so appealing. "It's nice to see how other people live and to see how happy they are." The happiness and joy that you excude has always been what brings me back to your blog, and clearly I'm not the only one who sees that right away. Merry Rain Season.
Unknown said…
Beautiful absolutely beautiful :)
Alicia P. said…
What I love is that you said it was hard to describe those days (I'm in them, too), but yet you did it absolutely perfectly. And, as always, so soulfully, and beautifully. Thank you. xo
You capture snippets of motherhood so beautifully! Thank you for sharing!
Anonymous said…
It is my first time visiting, and I have to say...thank you for the loveliness of your words. I have been a mother for quite awhile now, my sons are in their early twenties, my youngest is 15 years old, so I tend to forget the snippets of motherhood that still happen...but differently.

Thank you for bringing these special moments to my mind.

Anonymous said…
My "little ones" are now 43,40 and 39 and I have been blessed with 15 grands and step-grands to love on but, "Oh What Memories" is all I can say and they are all.....priceless to this BusyMamaw...!
Tera said…
It's Christmastime! People say taking photos takes one out of the moment...hmmm...I have much to say on this and will blog it soon. But as a Mommy, recording our moments with our babies is important. More on that....
My children are all grown up now with children of their own. I love watching the rhythm of their lives and remembering...all those happy, glorious moments that you so beautifully described. Now, I have nine wonderful grandchildren and I am making wonderful memories with them as well...
Brooke said…
I just love this post.

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